A Portrait of Youth | As Told by: Mariah

Bloom of Youth / N / the best time of ones youth; particular state of youth; the time of life between childhood and maturity

As you may have been reading in the blog I just recently took a trip to San Antonio, Texas. Over the past three years I have been taking wedding photographs and at first I was so unsure of it. Sometimes I still doubt my abilities to do my job correctly, and then when I review the images I am overjoyed with the results. The first wedding I photographed was Charlie and Olivia. I was probably 17 or something close to that.  They had a small wedding in Olympia, and that was my first paid gig. After that I was ecstatic whenever I had a wedding.  I always felt so honored because I sucked – I had no knowledge of the wedding business! People still wanted me for their events. I was hungry for weddings, I was hungry for the opportunity, and I was famished for experience.

This last summer was probably the most successful and productive summer I have had in my career so far. I completely overloaded myself, but I had such a good time meeting different couples and being apart of so many weddings. I share a really intimate moment with people, this is something I have realized, and my role in their day is extremely important. So I am trying my best this year to convey that awareness to my couples. To exercise kindness and display my passion for what I do.  I know that this year will be amazing because of how early I have started off my wedding season. Then, not only to have a wedding this early in the year, but to be in Texas for it… far more then I could have hoped for already.

You’re probably wondering, when is she going to get to the point? Well, here is how most of my conversations go with my couples about my age. “So how old are you Mariah?” and I’ll reply with a heavy heart ready for their reaction, “I’m 20.” Of course I get the typical raised eyebrow, deep inhale/gasp, and the very quizzical look that they give me. More often then not I take this look as… we hired a child to take our photographs. Back in 2011 I sent an email to a photographer, this was shortly after I had turned 18, and she not only flattered me (because her work is amazing) but she said something that I read to myself often. She said, “At first glance, I wasn’t sure who you were but then I was on my Facebook business page and realized that you are the same Mariah of Mariah Lindsay Photography. I’ve seen your business page and looked at your work and I have to say, for as young as you are, you have a gift for vision, composition, lighting, and post processing. You’re definitely ahead of the game creatively. I strongly suggest you remove the part in your “about” section regarding your age and appearance of inexperience (this is a novice approach and the sooner you get past it, the faster your reputation and business will grow). ”

For a really long time I have let my age hold me back. I have a bad attitude about it and I have created a complex for myself. I do feel like it holds me back sometimes and that people don’t take me as seriously because I am not an “adult” yet. This is a hurtle I have created for myself and something I do have to get past.

I took a little step in that direction while on my trip to Texas. First of all, I not only went on flight by myself but I have now been on two trips ALONE in the same month and the second trip had a connecting flight. Boom, your mind is blown. My mind was blown. *starts singing independent women* I had a blast in Texas. Friday I got to spend all day with the bride and her girls. I helped out, cracked jokes, and indulged in the delicious brisket at the rehearsal dinner. After dinner the girls invited me to go out with them.  How often do I get to go out with a bride before her wedding with her bridesmaids? Never. Instead of replying yes right away like I wanted all I could say was, “Well, I’m not 21.” The girls who didn’t know my age were surprised, but not in a bad way, not in the negative way that I always created in my head. Most of the responses I got were, “Oh! You seem much older!” or “What?! I wouldn’t have guessed that” or “WOW!” I was finally hearing them as positive. I was hearing reassurance. I was feeling like each comment was a pat on the back, a verbal confidence boost for my success at a young age. Most people don’t know how much that means to me, and hopefully in reading this they know now. So, thank you.

I was able to go out with them anyways because they were going to an 18+ club! Let me tell you I had a total blast. I danced… in a real cowboy dance hall with Texans that were gettin’ down left n’ right. I loved every second of it and hope I can do it again someday. I woke up the next day refreshed and ready to tackle this wedding. I felt so comfortable and at ease by Saturday morning. I was ready to laugh more and maybe even cry a little, jk, I never cry. The day felt very relaxed. I felt helpful and I felt productive. I was happy with all the images I was seeing on my camera. Not to mention the weather was perfect! I felt as if I was transported forwards to a light summer day in June. It was all flying by and the day was coming to a close. Ceremony, cake cutting, first dance etc. These were all things that I had done before but I felt much happier doing them this time. Something about my confidence had greatly changed.

Then, came the party.  My name is Mariah, and I like to party.

BUT, that Mariah doesn’t come out too often at events where I am 1. Working 2. Where I am working

Here are a couple of my favorite shots from the dancing portion of this party.

I have never had so much fun at one reception. Not just having fun taking the photos but having fun with all the people there. For once everybody wanted their picture taken and they had no problem being totally goofy for me. Hands down one of the best groups I have ever had the pleasure of photographing. Receptions do make me nervous because I can rock that natural light like nobodies business but I avoid my flash because it’s such a pain the butt to use. This was such a comfortable wedding. I was about 150 photos into the dancing section of the reception when Party Rock Anthem came on by LMFAO. Anybody who knows my area of expertise (dancing wise) knows that that is my favorite song to shuffle too and I look like a freaking bad ass when I get on the dance floor. So, I handed my camera off to nearest bystander and danced my face off in the middle of the circle.  That was the moment when I went from “Oh yeah, she’s the photographer…” to “OMG THAT’S THEIR PHOTOGRAPHER!! WOOOOOOHOOOOO!!!” Not going to lie, felt really cool for a quick second.

Not long after that I realized something. I am in the bloom of youth (yep 1,281 words later I get to the point) I realized that I am young and free right now. This is the time when I get to truly soak up life and I should never have to apologize for my age or feel insecure about it. This is the when my life is going to be the most full. I took a step outside and I focused on how quiet it was out there. I took a moment to think about my life, and the past year. It took me just a few minutes to really reflect on where I was, what I was doing, who I was thinking about, and why I was here. Here I, Mariah, was in San Antonio 2161 miles away from my home taking wedding photos for people who love what I do. They love what I create and want to be apart of that. I couldn’t stop thinking about how much fun I was having and how happy I was that whole night.  I picked out two shots from the night of me that I wanted to share.

One, where I was photo bombed by Rodney. This is my go to face, stance, and hand positioning for most of my photos.

And the second photo which I hope I can look back on to reflect and ponder the portrait of my youth.

As told by wild 20 year old Mariah.

Tags: career, creative writing, destination wedding, life, mariah lindsay, mariah lindsay photography, new year, photography, pondering, portrait, reflection, san antonio, texas, travel, wedding photography, writing, youth